Relationships are an integral part of life, whether they’re with family, friends, or romantic partners. Healthy relationships can offer love, support, and a sense of belonging, but not all relationships are positive. Some relationships can be harmful, leaving us emotionally drained and mentally exhausted. These are known as toxic relationships—and they can have a profound impact on mental well-being.
Let’s explore toxic relationship structures further:
- Signs of a toxic relationship
- How toxicity affects mental health
- Steps to leave toxic relationships or heal from them
- It’s okay to walk away: Taking control of your life
But what exactly makes a relationship toxic? A toxic relationship is one where the dynamics between the people involved cause harm to one or both parties, often leading to emotional or psychological distress. Unlike conflicts or disagreements that can be resolved through communication, toxic relationships are characterised by manipulation, control, and abuse—whether that’s physical, emotional, or verbal. It’s important to recognise these harmful dynamics and understand how they affect mental health so that steps can be taken to heal or leave such relationships behind.
Signs of a toxic relationship
Toxic relationships are not always easy to spot, especially if you’re emotionally invested. However, there are key signs that can indicate the presence of toxicity in a relationship:
In a toxic relationship, one person often tries to control or manipulate the other. This can be done subtly, such as guilt-tripping you into doing something, or more obviously through intimidation or controlling behaviour. If you find yourself constantly walking on eggshells or feeling like your choices are being dictated by someone else, that’s a strong indication that manipulation is at play.
Emotional abuse can be just as damaging as physical abuse, but it’s often harder to recognise. It can include belittling, gaslighting, or constant criticism. If someone makes you feel worthless or constantly questions your perceptions of reality, it can slowly erode your sense of self-worth. Over time, emotional abuse can make you doubt your own feelings and instincts, which is both damaging and disempowering.
In healthy relationships, there’s mutual respect and support. However, in toxic relationships, you may find that you’re the only one giving while the other person takes. They may dismiss your feelings or fail to provide support when you need it. This lack of respect and empathy can leave you feeling isolated and unappreciated.
While occasional disagreements are a normal part of any relationship, constant drama or conflict is a sign of toxicity. If you’re always arguing, being criticised, or feeling emotionally drained, it may be time to reflect on whether the relationship is worth maintaining.
How toxicity affects mental health
The emotional toll of toxic relationships can significantly impact mental health. Over time, the stress of being in a harmful relationship can take a serious toll on your emotional well-being, leaving you feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or depressed.
Living in a toxic relationship can lead to constant anxiety. You might feel like you’re never good enough, always waiting for the next argument or emotional attack. This persistent worry and fear can trigger physical symptoms like sleepless nights, headaches, and even digestive issues. Anxiety often stems from never knowing what to expect, leaving you emotionally exhausted and on edge.
A key sign of a toxic relationship is the gradual erosion of self-esteem. If you’re constantly being belittled, criticised, or controlled, it’s easy to start doubting your own worth. Over time, the abuse can make you feel inadequate, like you’re not good enough for love or respect. This can have lasting consequences on your ability to form healthy relationships in the future.
Toxic relationships can also lead to feelings of hopelessness and depression. The constant emotional strain, coupled with the lack of support or empathy, can make you feel trapped and isolated. If you feel like you’re giving more than you’re receiving, or if you’re constantly walking on eggshells, you might lose your sense of purpose or direction, leading to feelings of sadness and disconnection.
Steps to leave toxic relationships or heal from them
Leaving or healing from a toxic relationship isn’t easy, but it’s necessary for protecting your mental well-being. Whether you’re in a romantic relationship, a friendship, or a family dynamic, taking action is the first step towards recovery.
Setting boundaries
One of the first steps to dealing with a toxic relationship is setting healthy boundaries. Boundaries help protect your emotional space and define what you will and won’t tolerate. This could mean telling the person that their behaviour is unacceptable or cutting off contact for a period of time. Boundaries are essential for taking control of your own life and limiting the damage a toxic person can cause.
Seeking support
It’s important to surround yourself with a support system of trusted friends, family, or professionals who can offer guidance and emotional support. Talking about your experiences with someone who cares can help you gain perspective and begin the healing process. You don’t have to go through this alone: Asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
Self-recovery and self-care
Healing from a toxic relationship takes time, and it’s essential to prioritise self-care during this period. This could mean spending time doing activities that nourish your mind and body, such as exercising, journaling, meditating, or simply taking time to relax. It’s important to rediscover your own interests and passions, free from the negativity of the toxic relationship.
It’s okay to walk away: Taking control of your life
Prioritising your mental health in relationships is crucial, and sometimes that means stepping away from people who are causing harm. Toxic relationships can affect your emotional well-being in profound ways, from anxiety and low self-esteem to depression and burnout. However, by setting boundaries, seeking support, and focusing on self-care, you can start to heal and rebuild a life that’s centred around positive, healthy connections.
- Develop an understanding of when and how there are toxic patterns in your relationships
- Become aware of how it affects your body and mental state
- Start to set boundaries, inquire for help, and activate your support network
- Prioritise your mental health to make sure the impact of your harmful relationships on your well-being is reduced or cut off completely
- Leave old thought patterns behind
Remember that you deserve love, respect, and kindness in every relationship. It’s okay to walk away from situations that no longer serve your well-being.
“At some point, you have to realize that some people can stay in your heart but not in your life.” – Tara Westover
Taking control of your mental health and finding healthy relationships will bring you peace and fulfilment. The road to recovery may not always be easy, but every step you take towards leaving a toxic relationship is a step towards a happier, healthier life.
