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The psychology of loneliness and how to overcome it

Loneliness is something that everyone experiences at some point in their life. Whether it’s the feeling of being isolated in a room full of people, or the quiet evenings when you long for a connection, loneliness can creep in and take hold. Unfortunately, loneliness is becoming a growing issue in modern society, affecting people of […]

the-psychology-of-loneliness.jpg Silhouette of a person against the sun, symbolising loneliness

Loneliness is something that everyone experiences at some point in their life. Whether it’s the feeling of being isolated in a room full of people, or the quiet evenings when you long for a connection, loneliness can creep in and take hold. Unfortunately, loneliness is becoming a growing issue in modern society, affecting people of all ages and walks of life. With the rise of digital communication, the way we connect with others has drastically changed, and it hasn’t always translated into stronger, more meaningful relationships.

In this article, we’ll explore the psychology behind loneliness, how it affects mental health, and ways to overcome it:

While loneliness can feel isolating, it’s important to recognise that there are steps we can take to combat it and foster deeper connections in our lives.

How loneliness affects mental health

Loneliness isn’t just an emotional state; it can have profound effects on our mental and physical health. Research has shown that prolonged loneliness can lead to a variety of mental health issues, from anxiety to depression and even cognitive decline.

“Connection is the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued.” – Brené Brown

When we feel lonely, it’s not just about missing social interactions; it can create feelings of anxiety and depression. The sense of isolation can lead to a lack of self-worth and a feeling that we are somehow “not enough” or unworthy of love and companionship. Anxiety often follows, as loneliness can trigger ruminating thoughts about why we’re alone or how we’re disconnected from the world around us. Depression can also set in as loneliness can make us feel hopeless or like we’re stuck in an endless cycle of isolation.

Silhouette of a person against the sun, symbolising loneliness
Gabriel on Unsplash

Loneliness has also been linked to cognitive decline, especially in older adults. Studies have shown that those who are isolated for long periods tend to experience faster rates of memory decline and are at a higher risk for conditions like dementia. The lack of social engagement and mental stimulation can impair cognitive function, leading to difficulties in thinking, remembering, and learning.

It’s clear that loneliness isn’t just about feeling “blue”; it can have serious long-term impacts on our mental health and overall well-being. Fortunately, the good news is that loneliness can be addressed with the right mindset and actions.

Ways to combat loneliness

While loneliness is undoubtedly challenging, there are many ways to combat it. It’s about taking small, consistent steps to engage with others and make meaningful connections.

One of the most effective ways to combat loneliness is through social engagement. Connecting with others, whether it’s a friend, family member, or even a neighbour, can help restore feelings of belonging and connection. Even if it feels uncomfortable at first, reaching out and building social connections can reduce feelings of isolation. This doesn’t always have to be in person—it could be a text, a phone call, or even a video chat. The key is to make an effort to engage with others regularly.

Another way to reduce loneliness is by pursuing hobbies or activities that bring you joy and allow you to meet new people. Whether it’s joining a book club, taking up a new hobby like painting or gardening, or participating in group fitness classes, finding activities that spark your interest can not only give you something to look forward to but also introduce you to like-minded individuals. Pursuing hobbies gives you a sense of purpose and a way to connect with others over shared interests.

Volunteers pack wares into paper bags
Ismael Paramo on Unsplash

Volunteering is another fantastic way to combat loneliness. Helping others not only creates a sense of fulfilment but also opens the door to new social connections. Volunteering brings people together, whether you’re working at a food bank, helping with a community project, or assisting at an animal shelter. The act of contributing to a cause that’s bigger than yourself can help alleviate feelings of loneliness and isolation, while also providing a sense of community and connection.

The role of technology in connection

In today’s world, technology plays an undeniable role in the way we connect with others. While social media and online communities can offer a sense of connection, they can also sometimes contribute to feelings of loneliness.

Online communities

On one hand, online communities can be incredibly supportive, especially for individuals who may not have access to in-person social circles. Platforms like Facebook groups, Reddit, and Discord allow people to connect based on shared interests, hobbies, or struggles. These communities can offer a safe space to share thoughts and experiences without judgement, which can help alleviate feelings of isolation.

The drawbacks of social media

On the other hand, social media can sometimes exacerbate loneliness. Constant comparison to others’ seemingly perfect lives can lead to feelings of inadequacy and isolation. Social media tends to focus on the highlight reel of people’s lives, often leaving users feeling left out or disconnected. Research has shown that spending too much time scrolling through social media can actually increase feelings of loneliness and anxiety, especially if it’s used to avoid real-life connections.

The balance between online and offline relationships

While technology can certainly help facilitate connections, it’s essential to strike a balance between online interactions and face-to-face relationships. Human connection is most powerful when it’s in person, where body language, tone of voice, and the energy exchanged are key to building meaningful connections. So, while online communities can be valuable, it’s important to also make time for in-person interactions whenever possible.

Taking small steps towards connection to overcome loneliness

Loneliness can feel like a heavy burden, but the good news is that there are ways to overcome it:

  • Develop an understanding that loneliness is a social construct that affects mental health deeply
  • Seek enriching social engagements to combat loneliness
  • Try out hobbies and pursue something that makes you feel part of a group, e.g., team sports
  • Try volunteering for local organizations and become part of the network of volunteers around you
  • Harness the power of technology to connect you to people with similar interests, such as forums, chatrooms, games, and even social media if used correctly
  • Try to find a balance between online and offline relationships and 

If you or someone you know is struggling with loneliness, remember that taking small steps towards connection can make a big difference. It’s not about being socially perfect, but about embracing the power of genuine relationships. With patience, effort, and a willingness to reach out, we can all work towards overcoming loneliness and building stronger, more fulfilling connections with the world around us.