It’s hard to watch someone you care about struggle with mental health. Whether it’s a friend, family member, or partner, seeing them deal with anxiety, depression, or any other mental health challenge can make you feel helpless. But the truth is, your support can make a huge difference. Offering the right kind of help, without judgement, can help them feel understood, less isolated, and more capable of facing their struggles.
Supporting someone with mental health difficulties requires empathy, patience, and a willingness to listen. It’s important to remember that they’re not simply being difficult or acting out; they’re dealing with something that’s often invisible but deeply affecting.
In this article, we’ll explore how you can be there for a loved one while respecting their boundaries, providing helpful advice, and encouraging them to seek professional help when needed:
- Understanding what they’re going through
- Do’s and don’ts of helping
- Encouraging professional help
- Your support for a loved one struggling with mental health is not easy but meaningful
Understanding what they’re going through
Before you can offer support, it’s crucial to understand what your loved one might be going through. Mental health issues aren’t one-size-fits-all, and each individual’s experience is unique. However, there are some common struggles that many people face, including:
Anxiety is more than just feeling worried. It can be overwhelming and relentless. People with anxiety often experience persistent fear or nervousness, which may or may not be linked to a specific event. For them, everyday situations may feel daunting, and physical symptoms like a racing heart, sweating, or shortness of breath can accompany these feelings.
Depression isn’t just feeling sad or having a bad day—it’s a long-lasting sense of hopelessness and fatigue. A person struggling with depression might find it difficult to get out of bed, lose interest in things they once enjoyed, or feel worthless. Their sense of self-worth can be shattered, and they may push people away, making it hard to know how to help.
Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is often linked to a traumatic event or series of events, leading to feelings of constant fear, flashbacks, or nightmares. People with PTSD may appear withdrawn or hyper-alert, as if they’re always on edge, and may have difficulty trusting others or engaging in normal daily activities.
While these struggles can be challenging to witness, it’s important to remember that your loved one isn’t looking for pity—they’re simply looking for understanding and compassion. It’s okay if you don’t have all the answers, but showing up with empathy and support can make all the difference.
Do’s and don’ts of helping
Helping someone with mental health difficulties can be tricky, and knowing what to do and what not to do can be a fine balance. Here are some key do’s and don’ts to guide you through the process:
Do’s
Listen actively
One of the most helpful things you can do is simply listen. Active listening means giving your full attention to the person, not interrupting, and showing empathy through your words and body language. Sometimes, they might just need to vent without seeking advice or solutions. Let them express themselves without judgement and remind them that it’s okay to feel however they’re feeling.
Offer emotional support
Let your loved one know that they’re not alone. Your encouragement and positive affirmations, like “I’m here for you” or “You matter,” can help them feel seen and valued, even when they’re struggling with their mental health.
Respect boundaries
Mental health struggles can be deeply personal, and not everyone is comfortable sharing every detail of their experience. If your loved one asks for space, respect that. Similarly, be mindful of how much emotional support you’re offering. They may need time to process things on their own.
Don’ts:
Offer quick fixes or advice
While it might come from a place of care, offering “quick fixes” like “Just think positive” or “Snap out of it” can be harmful. These types of comments dismiss the real struggles that people with mental health issues face. Instead of offering solutions, simply acknowledge their feelings and listen without rushing to “fix” anything.
Downplay their struggles
It’s important to avoid minimising what they’re going through by saying things like “Others have it worse” or “You have nothing to be depressed about.” Such comments can make your loved one feel invalidated and misunderstood. Mental health struggles are real, regardless of how they might appear from the outside.
Pressure them
It’s tempting to try and “fix” everything right away, but pressuring your loved one to act—whether it’s to get out of bed, go out with friends, or seek professional help—can backfire. Let them make decisions at their own pace and be patient with their process.
Encouraging professional help
As much as your support matters, there are times when professional help is crucial. Encouraging your loved one to seek therapy or counselling can be life-changing, but it’s important to approach the topic carefully. Here’s how to suggest therapy without pressuring them:
Instead of saying, “You need therapy,” try offering your support in a gentler way. For example, “Have you considered speaking to someone? I think it might help, and I’m here to help you find someone if you want.” This takes the pressure off and shows that you’re there to support their decision.
Sometimes, the idea of finding a therapist or booking an appointment can be overwhelming. Offer to help research potential therapists or even go with them to the appointment if they want support. Taking away some of the logistical burdens can make it easier for them to take the first step.
Let your loved one know that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Reassure them that therapy is not a “last resort” but a helpful tool for managing mental health. Normalising therapy can make the idea less intimidating.
Your support for a loved one struggling with mental health is not easy but meaningful
Supporting a loved one with mental health struggles is not easy, but it’s one of the most meaningful things you can do. By offering patience, empathy, and understanding, you can make a world of difference.
“Anything that’s human is mentionable, and anything that is mentionable can be more manageable.” – Fred Rogers
Let’s recap:
- Develop an understanding of what they’re going through
- Listen closely and without judgement, offer emotional support and respect boundaries
- Don’t engage in quick fixes, downplay struggles or pressure them
- Seeking help has to come naturally, yet you can be encouraging
- Your support in and of itself is meaningful, you don’t need to find solutions to everything
Above all, remember that mental health is a journey: There will be ups and downs. By being there for them through it all, you show your love and commitment in ways that matter. Your support, combined with their resilience, can help them move forward in their own time, feeling less alone and more empowered.
