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Why self-care isn’t selfish: Prioritizing your mental health

Many people think of self-care as a luxury or something indulgent or even selfish. The idea of taking time for yourself can feel uncomfortable, especially if you’re used to prioritising others. But the truth is, self-care isn’t about being selfish: It’s about survival in a world that becomes more and more overwhelming everyday.  Just like […]

“and breathe” neon sign as a symbolisation of self-care

Many people think of self-care as a luxury or something indulgent or even selfish. The idea of taking time for yourself can feel uncomfortable, especially if you’re used to prioritising others. But the truth is, self-care isn’t about being selfish: It’s about survival in a world that becomes more and more overwhelming everyday. 

Just like we recharge our phones when the battery runs low, we need to recharge ourselves too. When we neglect self-care, stress builds up, our energy levels drop, and our mental well-being suffers.

Self-care is the practice of intentionally taking time to nurture your physical, mental, and emotional well-being through activities that restore balance and reduce stress. It’s not just about relaxation—it’s about setting boundaries, prioritising your needs, and making choices that support long-term health and happiness.

Self-care isn’t about spa days and expensive retreats (though those can be nice too!). It’s about doing what you need to feel balanced, rested, and emotionally well. 

Let’s explore why self-care matters, the different forms it can take, and how to overcome the guilt that sometimes comes with putting yourself first:

“and breathe” neon sign as a symbolisation of self-care
Max van den Oetelaar on Unsplash

Self-care is not a trend

Self-care isn’t a trend: It’s a necessity. It plays a crucial role in maintaining both mental and physical health. Here’s why it’s so important:

Rest and Relaxation Reduce Stress

When life gets overwhelming, taking a break can feel impossible. But constant stress leads to burnout, anxiety, and even physical health issues. Simple acts of self-care, like getting enough sleep or taking short breaks, help regulate stress hormones and prevent emotional exhaustion.

Setting boundaries protects your energy

Many of us struggle to say “no”, whether it’s at work, with family, or in social settings. But saying yes to everything often means saying no to yourself. Setting healthy boundaries allows you to prioritise what truly matters, without feeling drained or resentful.

Mental health improves when you prioritise yourself

Neglecting self-care can lead to increased anxiety, mood swings, and difficulty coping with daily challenges. When you intentionally take time to care for yourself, you’re better equipped to handle stress and maintain a positive mindset.

Different forms of self-care

Self-care looks different for everyone, and it’s not just about bubble baths and scented candles. Here are four key types of self-care:

 Physical self-care

Looking after your body is one of the most basic forms of self-care. This includes:

  • Getting enough sleep (7-9 hours per night is ideal).
  • Eating nourishing food that makes you feel good.
  • Moving your body in ways that you enjoy (not just for fitness, but for fun and relaxation too).
  • Taking breaks to avoid burnout, especially if you work long hours.

Emotional self-care

Your mental health needs just as much attention as your physical health. Emotional self-care involves:

  • Allowing yourself to feel and express emotions without judgment.
  • Journaling or talking to a trusted friend about your feelings.
  • Practising mindfulness or meditation to reduce stress.
  • Engaging in hobbies that bring joy and relaxation.

Social self-care

Human connection is essential for well-being, but it needs to be nurtured in a way that feels right for you. Social self-care includes:

  • Spending time with people who uplift and energise you.
  • Setting boundaries with toxic or draining relationships.
  • Reaching out when you need support, rather than isolating yourself.
  • Making time for meaningful conversations, even if it’s just a quick chat with a friend.

Spiritual self-care

Spiritual self-care isn’t just about religion—it’s about finding meaning and connection in life. This can involve:

  • Spending time in nature to feel grounded and refreshed.
  • Practising gratitude by focusing on what brings you joy.
  • Engaging in personal reflection through journaling or meditation.
  • Exploring personal beliefs and values, whatever they may be.
Group of people doing Yoga at the beach
Kaylee Garrett on Unsplash

Overcoming guilt around self-care

Many people feel guilty for putting themselves first, especially if they’re used to prioritising others. Here’s why you shouldn’t:

  • You can’t pour from an empty cup: If you’re constantly running on empty, you’ll have nothing left to give to those who rely on you. Taking care of yourself allows you to show up as your best, healthiest self for others.
  • Self-Care is not self-indulgence: There’s a big difference between self-care and selfishness. Self-care is about maintaining balance and protecting your well-being, not ignoring the needs of others. It helps you function better in every area of life.
  • Prioritising yourself benefits others too: When you take care of yourself, your mood improves, stress levels decrease, and relationships become healthier. People around you will benefit from your renewed energy and positive mindset.

If guilt creeps in, remind yourself: self-care is necessary, not optional.

​”Self-care is not selfish. You cannot serve from an empty vessel.” — Eleanor Brownn

Self-Care Checklist: 10 Simple ways to prioritise your well-being

  • Make sure you get enough sleep – Aim for 7-9 hours to recharge your mind and body. 
  • Eat nutrient-rich foods – Fuel yourself with balanced meals that make you feel good.
  • Exercise regularly – Whether it’s yoga, a walk, or dancing, find activities that bring you joy.
  • Take breaks – Step away from work or screens to avoid burnout and refresh your mind.
  • Practice mindfulness – Try meditation, deep breathing, or journaling to manage stress. 
  • Set boundaries – Learn to say “no” to things that drain your energy and prioritise what matters. 
  • Stay connected – Spend time with supportive friends and family who uplift you.
  • Do something you love – Engage in hobbies or activities that make you feel happy and fulfilled.
  • Digital detox – Take time away from social media to focus on the present moment.
  • Be kind to yourself – Treat yourself with the same compassion and patience you offer others.

Start small and work towards prioritising self-care

Self-care isn’t selfish, it’s a vital part of maintaining mental health and well-being. Whether it’s setting boundaries, taking breaks, or engaging in activities that bring joy, self-care helps prevent burnout and improves overall quality of life.

If you’re struggling to prioritise yourself, start small. Take five minutes to breathe, step outside for fresh air, or say no to something that drains you. Over time, these small changes add up to a healthier, happier you.

So next time you feel guilty about taking care of yourself, remember: You deserve it just as much as anyone else.